Can Couples Sleep Separately?

Do you sleep in the same bed as your partner or in separate rooms?

If you do sleep separately, the reason might not be that the relationship has broken down — it could be just a matter of convenience.

One partner might do shift work, someone snores while the other is a light sleeper, or perhaps you’re a doona stealer.

With 75 per cent of people having trouble falling asleep according to an ABC survey, separate beds might just be the answer to a good night’s sleep.

Jacqueline Hallyer, a clinical psychosexual therapist and relationships coach, said there was no point being in the same bed together if there were “negative vibes going on”.

“A lot of people will take it as a sign of rejection if they’re not [sleeping] together,” she said.

Ms Hallyer said the most important aspect of a relationship was to have enough “skin-to-skin contact” and to find ways to “connect” in bed or out.

“There’s so many health benefits and emotional benefits to being able to spend time with your beloved and all your loved ones … where you’re actually touching, where you’re gazing into each other’s eyes, where you’re just being close to each other.

“It reduces your stress levels, your cortisol levels go down, it increases your immune functioning, it makes you feel more secure in life so there’s less anxiety.

“There’s so many benefits to it that it’s important that you find somewhere to do it and generally sleeping together is the easiest way to do it.”

What works best for the couple?

702 ABC Sydney caller Linda said she and her husband moved into separate rooms once their children left home.

She said the decision was made by her initially because she was having trouble sleeping due to her husband’s snoring.

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